Today's the day

Today's the day then. Benidorm here we come. Lock up your daughters that's what I say. I'm meeting the lads in an hour at the station. It's my first holiday for years. Stan's still got the arsehole because of the windows and that but i could not give a sterling fucking moss. He should count himself lucky he can still breathe after a fall like that. You'd think he'd be savouring every minute of life considering he should be dead, but no, not that miserable bastard. Sod him. I'm going to spain and i'm going to have it fucking large! I've got about monkey (£500) spending money which I'm not sure is going to last but I'll just have to play it by ear. I had to borrow £400 off my mum. I was a bit surprised when I checked my savings last night and discovered I only had a ton to take with me. I thought for sure I'd saved more than that. Still, I'm a virgin to this saving money lark, and a ton's not bad for starters I reckon.

My old man's doing my head in. Then again, when is he not doing people's heads in the miserable old fucker.

Last night, we're sitting in the front room with Ham, Egg & Chips when the old cunt decides he's got something to say ...

"So when do you plan on paying that money back?" says Dad, splling egg all down his chin.
"What's it got to do with you?" I says.
"It's my house, that's what it's got to do with me."
"Not it's not."
"Yes it is."
"It's not. It's the councils."
"Same thing."
"How is it?"
"It's my fucking house!"
"Well it's my house as well then?"
"It's not your fucking house."
"I'm living here."
"Yeah, don't I fucking no it."
"I pay part of the rent."
"What £10 a week."
"It's all I can afford at the moment."
"You are having a fucking laugh boy" he says but by then I've had enough of the old bastard. Always spoiling things he is. I head off to the kitchen, finish my dinner, then fuck off down down the pub for a shandy.