hospital
i spent the weekend in hospital. friday night it all kicked off when i went next door to ask them to turn their music down. this big ugly bastard comes to the door, huge and soapy looking, head the size of a wrecking ball perched on two massive, neck-less shoulders. pig-ugly this one was

"do us a favor mate," i says, "could you turn the music down please. if it's not to much trouble like?"

"no!" he says. just like that. then he just stares at me open mouthed. at first i thought he was just admiring my karate suit, which i'd put on before i came out. then, for no apparent reason, he cracks up laughing. starts pointing at me, saying "bonzai daniel son" and "wax off wax on". like i'm bothered. fucking piss taker

"you want to watch your mouth pal," i tells him, because you can't let gorillas like this think your scared of them or they'll just walk all over you. no. you have to get in first. show them you mean business. i'm not a hundred percent sure what happened next. i do know he must have caught me unawares before i could react. playing dirty.

i woke up in the ambulance on route to hospital.

turns out my good neighbor is a kick-boxer. ex light-heavyweight champion of great britain